In Search of a Nap
by Martha and cats
Summary: Never argue with the Adventure Muse... or with a Writer on DayQuil. Outofcharacter silliness from the 'Truth With a Capital T' universe. Harry Potter Highlander Buffy Xfiles


**In Search of a Nap**  
by Martha (and cat)

"But I don't want to write anything, I'm sick!" The Writer coughed and snuggled deeper into her warm blankee. "I'm going to make some soup, gnosh on some chocolate and YOU are going to leave me alone." She was curled up in her computer chair, glaring at the Muse on her desktop.

"I will do no such thing." The Writer's Muse was roughly six-inches tall, with flaming red hair and dressed in an all-black medieval swordsman's outfit. It was the dreaded Adventure Muse, she of the witty comeback and Xena-like fight scenes. "You're sick and miserable and you need something to take your mind off being sick and miserable. And since you can't paint your little plastic horses without being able to focus... it's time to work on your typing skills." The Muse pointed at the keyboard. "Now type."

"Don wanna."

"Look you're the one that started this whole multi-verse thing," the Muse waved a hand at the pile of scribbled notes that had been collected in preparation for the massive Harry Potter/Highlander/Buffy/X-Files crossover, "and you're the one that's going to have to finish it." 

"But not today! Today I'm going to nap. Long peaceful naps." The Writer's eyes glazed over in joy at the thought of naps. Or maybe it was just the DayQuil…

"Filled with dreams of exciting adventures of daring-do, unless you give me my word count." The Muse crossed her arms and glared up at her Writer. There was a lot of glaring going on, all things considered.

"But daring-do is so tiring. Can't we just do a nice quiet scene? With some tea, mmm, tea. And maybe a nifty comfy bed." The Writer yawned and snuggled deeper into the blanket. "Ooo, they could all take naps! _And so peace settled over all the world as everyone took naps. The end._ "

"Very funny."

"Fine. You want crossover, you get crossover!"

**Hermione:** So you're a witch, really?  
**Willow:** Well, yes, I'm rather witchy.  
**Hermione:** What school did you go to?  
**Willow:** You mean high school?  
**Hermione:** No-no, what wizarding school did you go to? And where's your wand?  
**Willow:** Um, huh?  
**Hermione:** Well then, you aren't much of a wizard. No robes, no wand, no school. So what good are you?  
**Willow:** I can kill you with my mind. 

_"No she can't. That's River, stop getting your quotes mixed up."_  
_"Hrmph."_

**Willow:** I can turn people into rats! Um, by accident. Oooo... and I helped Angel get back his soul, and we raised Buffy from the dead, and there was this one really crazy love spell...  
**Hermione:** You did WHAT?  
**Willow:** It was really sparkly.  
**Hermione:** I can't work like this!

_"Well that was pointless."_  
_"And then there were naps."_  
_"No there wasn't! Weren't. Whatever."_

**Draco:** So you see, I'm rather evil.  
**Spike:** I'm sorry were you talking?  
**Draco:** I was telling you how I was evil!  
**Spike:** You, small-blonde-and-angsty are _not_ evil. I know evil, and you aren't him.  
**Draco:** Like you could do any better.  
**Spike:** Of course I could. I just don't choose to.  
**Draco:** Wuss.

_sighs"_

**Snape:** I am so not evil. Why can't they see I'm not evil? Much, anyways.  
**Spike:** Preaching to the choir, here.

_"You're kidding me right?"_

**Buffy:** Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?  
**Hagrid:** Well, um.

_"Okay, that was just stupid."_  
_"Don't blame me, you're the one making me write this"_

**Duncan:** So you see, you'll need to learn sword-work and train with me in martial arts.  
**Ron:** Seems a bit of a bother. Why can't I just wear a big metal collar so they can't cut my head off?  
**Duncan:** That would be cheating.  
**Hermione:** No, that would be common sense.  
**Harry:** Or you could just magic their swords away.  
**Ron:** Ooo, or you could make your neck impervious.  
**Hermione:** Or you could turn the swords into herring. It's all the same really.  
**Duncan:** I give up!

_"Herring?"_  
_"What? Never see _Army of Darkness_? Silly Muse."_  
_"No, that was from _Dogma_. You need to layoff the DayQuil.""_

**Dumbledore:** So you see, there is great evil about.  
**Mulder:** Well yes, but is it extra-terrestrial evil?  
**Dumbledore:** No, not really, more of a can't-quite-kill-it-but-still-human evil.  
**Mulder:** Oh, well I suppose that will have to do.

_"This really wasn't what I had in mind."_  
_"I'm sleepy, I'm sick, and I can type whatever I feel like, so there!"_

**Methos:** So you see, even I'm more evil that you.  
**Draco:** This is not fair!  
**Spike:** Kids.

_"And that's it... I'm off to bed."_

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER trademark and copyright Twentieth Century Fox, Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and/or the UPN Television Network. HIGHLANDER is a worldwide copyright and trademark of Davis-Panzer Productions, Inc. and Gétéve. THE X-FILES trademark and copyright Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation and Ten Thirteen Productions. HARRY POTTER trademark and copyright J. K. Rowling and Time-Warner. All rights reserved. No copyright infringement is intended nor implied. This is a work of Fan Fiction and does not intended to infringe or devalue the copyrights of owners, however the story itself is Copyright the author, and may NOT be reposted, rearchived, or reprinted in any fashion without the express permission of the author.


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